Oh Dear Sweet Blog
You’ve been so utterly neglected lately. What can I say? Just that Momma needs to be out earning the bucks I guess and Google AdSense — well, I don’t want to blame you guys for not clicking on their ads but let’s just say that I’ve never seen a cent out of ‘em. I’ve been doing a lot of things, one of which is preparing for the release of the anthology I edited on reality shows. And to that point, we’ve set up some readings. Now who from ADA is going to make them?
April 13th: Reading/Q&A/signing, Borders Books, Columbus Circle, NYC, 7 pm (with Rex Sorgatz, Helaine Olen and Will Leitch)
April 15th: Reading/Q&A/signing, Word, 126 Franklin St., Brooklyn 7 pm (with Austin Bunn, Rex Sorgatz, Helaine Olen and Amelie Gillette — & Toby Young, live from London via Skype!)
April 21st: Reading/Q&A/signing, Barnes & Nobles, The Grove, 7 pm PST (with Melissa de la Cruz, Ben Mandelker, John Albert and Wendy Merrill)
April 28th: Reading/Q&A/signing, Book Soup, 8818 Sunset Blvd., 7 pm PST (with Richard Rushfield, Stacey Grenrock Woods, Neal Pollack and Mark Lisanti)
April 29th: Reading/Q&A/signing, Borders, Union Square (400 Post St.), San Francisco, 7 pm PST (with Melissa de la Cruz, Richard Rushfield, Ben Mandelker and Wendy Merrill)
A Word About Special Massages
So a gay male friend and I recently decided we wanted to go get massages. We walked into a quite reputable looking place, where the set up was one room with a curtain in the middle so I was on one side and he was on the other. All went well. We both thought the massages were great. A week or so later, he asked if I wanted to go back there and I couldn’t so he went alone. Where he was massaged by the guy who’d previously massaged me. Where said guy gave him a happy ending.
Now maybe you’re all far less naive than I am so this doesn’t surprise a soul but, I mean, are all people — men as well as women — out there who massage (who aren’t working at, say, spas) giving them “to completion”? Is the masseuse gay? When he was massaging me, was he cursing the fact that he wasn’t with my friend? Are women getting special massages, too? Ellen Sussman wrote this really interesting piece about getting one but can I just say how relieved I am that this has never come up for me?
I asked my friend a) if he gave the guy a really good tip and b) if it was awkward when he was leaving. He said he gave the same 20% he always would and that the guy acted perfectly normal.
The John Edwards Situation…
…has gone from bad to worse. First, New York runs this utterly gripping play-by-play of how Edwards transformed from aw-shucks sweetheart into skirt-chasing megalomaniac, all — so the piece implies — because Rielle Hunter (who they make out to sound like she should probably be institutionalized) kept telling him how amazing he was. And what’s the worst thing that can happen to a guy like that? Besides, of course, getting busted? Getting turned down. I’m actually starting to feel sorry for him, and Andrew Young’s book hasn’t even come out yet.
In case Elizabeth is looking for new and creative ways to go Lorena Bobbitt on him (minus, um, the penis slashing), women are coming up with different ways to make him pay all the time.
What’s Annalytical?
News (Off Topic)
So here’s the big news:
I’ve launched an editing business with a partner where we’re going to be helping people who are working on books of their own — either with editing, line notes or just general consultation. Our rates are reasonable (interested parties should submit a sample chapter and word count to info@newyorkwritersalliance.com) and my partner comes with great literary credibility as well as a lot of experience teaching and helping people with their books (several of which have come out). By mid-year, we’ll have launched the New York Writers Alliance Reading Series, which will feature one established writer and two emerging talents from our student base (obviously this is only relevant for people who live in or near NYC — or at least come here). So ADAers, if you’re interested (or know someone who is), check out our website and let me know.
Also, I’m no longer going to be answering questions on Attack of the Show. I’ve loved working on the show and am so grateful to everyone there for having given me a fantastic opportunity to attempt to quell the fear and confusion around the topic of sex. And my work in that field is far from done. I’m currently weighing a few possibilities and you have my word that when I know what my next gig in that department is going to be, you’ll be the first (or second or perhaps third — for sure no later than the fourth) I tell. In the meantime, I’m still answering questions over on annalyticalanswers.
Meanwhile, you’ve got to hand it to these people, not because they went without pants (whateva) but because they did so in this weather. I hope for their sake they were good and liquored up.
If You’re Going to Join a Dating Website for the Beautiful…
…apparently you’re going to have to stay away from those chocolate chip cookies you leave for Santa.*
*You should probably also not know Eric Weis, who sends homemade cookies, chocolate peanut butter and other delicacies*
The members of BeautifulPeople.com had to learn this the hard way, as over 5,000 of them were kicked off for not being beautiful enough anymore to qualify.
Now, that’s a lot of Christmas cookies.
I sort of just love the notion of this website, which I’d never really heard of before. Let’s put aside the fact that there are people who want to join, not to mention believe they’re worthy. How about the idea that they’re only going to be meeting other people who consider themselves aesthetically perfect? Can you imagine the mutual pomposity going on?
Oh, to be a fly on the wall on one of those dates…
Now hit the gym, tubby BeautifulPeople members!
When You Take These Stories All Together…
A new book is claiming that Warren Beatty slept with almost 13,000 women — a fact that some are disputing. It’s true that reaching this number wouldn’t leave a lot of time for, say, acting in movies, but perhaps he was very efficient about the whole thing because he found what scientists are now saying doesn’t exist. But does it factor in the guilt that makes women believe they’re not turned on? Or did Beatty hitting on you manage to make that disappear?
In unrelated news, going to be on Red Eye tonight!
Some Things
A), Look what Joe did over the holiday break! Joe asking for sex advice
B), An LAist.com story on me pegged to the release of Bought made the year’s list of top 10 most popular posts. Yee-hee! Go click on it lots of times and who knows, maybe it can be in the running for top post of the decade…
C) Happy New Year!
Me Talking Tiger
I realize this is old news but I just discovered a treasure trove of clips on line from CTV, this Canadian network I’ve been going on a lot (apparently it’s like CNN) lately. I never realize how much I talk ad infinitum until I see one of these things. I barely let that newscaster get a word on (also very weird to see her because when you’re shooting these things, you’re usually talking into a video camera and see only that.) Anyway, here I was talking Tiger when only about 15% of the mistresses had come forward:
Talking Tiger