So a new study has revealed that “casual sex may not cause emotional or psychological damage.” Use that one to your advantage while doing your wooing, boys.
Or should you?
Emotional and/or psychological damage is notoriously difficult to calibrate, especially when the way it’s being tallied is by asking people between the ages of 18 and 24 about “their most recent sexual experiences, their self-esteem and their general well-being after the experience.”
Asking people between those ages about their self-esteem and general well-being! I don’t know about you but when I was between those ages, I knew very close to nothing about anything having to do with how I really felt. Growing up, which some of us don’t get to until a little later in life, has been a process of figuring those things out day by day. When I was in my twenties, I was simply the product of what my very strong-minded parents and the people around me were saying or doing.
Now, look. There is no self-esteem and general well-being test we can give people (although it would be all kinds of awesome if there were). And surely many, many people do not experience emotional or psychological damage as a result of random sex. But, in my extremely unscientific research on the matter (even less scientific than this study), I’d say that roughly 92% of women are not all that fine with it. I’ve known some members of the 8% and they are 100% fine but they don’t wear a label and may look and act just like those other 92%ers (I semi-addressed this on my other site).
As for you men, I’d say a good 98.5% of you are cool with it.
Just what kind of random sex? The regular ‘one-night stand’ where the chick enjoys the boytoy she picked up at a bar or a club and then never see him again? The semi-drunken lesbian tryst at a college party because the frat boys are boors (or just boring) and the girl wants to act out a latent fantasy just once? The stopover at an airport hotel with a stranger during a snow storm where anything can happen? The pool boy/grocery delivery guy/home repairman affair since the husband’s away and the wife is too timid (or too unwilling) to go to the neighbors for a ‘cup of sugar’? The surprise of seeing the boyfriend with another woman (or in some cases, another guy) that suddenly turns into an impromptu threesome? The wedding anniversary glamour photo shoot that’s taken a few notches by the photographer suggesting a few sexy poses…a couple of corsets…some masks and elbow-length gloves…maybe some whips and chains and handcuffs and thigh-high leather boots? The visit with the son or daughter’s fiancé or fiancée that turns into something from THE GRADUATE if produced by PENTHOUSE ENTERTAINMENT? The attempted party crash at the posh neighbors’ shindig that’s actually a covert swingers’ party where anything allowable by the law goes? I wish those guys were a little more specific about the results and how they got them. (And yes, I know the sarcasm’s a bit over the top.)
Personally, I take the results with a grain of salt and a shot of tequila. By that logic, all men are horndogs and all women are virgins in a nunnery. Might as well declare all pre-martial sex of any kind as a form of rape since what these jackasses are implying that sex damages the self-esteem and mind. I mean, honestly, people! This is strictly sexual idiocy at its worst. I’d rather deal with a study on WHY some people enjoy random sex and why others want a relationship. That would help out a great deal than this mumbo-jumbo bullshit! No wonder sexual ethics in this country is so screwed-up. It’s either “Don’t do it until you’re married.” or “Let’s get bunny crazy with the butter and Jack Daniels and see what happens.”. No middle ground and no exploration into if you have a choice or should you have a choice between monogamy and ‘free love’.
I’m sorry, Ms. David, but I find the results highly dubious at best and dangerous at worst. I’d take my chances with a crooked roulette table than accept the above results as fact. They just seem…faked.
I wonder if this study is saying that sex is not the cause for feelings of esteem, either positive or negative. I would like to think that perhaps random sex is a symptom of other psychological conditions. For example, Joe is feeling very sexy and manly because he bought some new shoes, so that night he met a girl on Twitter, and met her for some random sex. It wasn’t the sex that caused Joe to feel good about himself, it was the shoes! The sex just came about because of all these other good feelings. I have a feeling I’m not good at trying to understand scientific studies.
ok reading this blog made me very happy
I feel very vindicated now
Thanks for sharing this with us
All your blogs make me smile but especially this one!
Thank you, Toddrod. You just nailed one of the holes in the study’s results. Human beings get joy or sad out of a lot of other things aside from sex. Something the staff should’ve put into consideration before posting their results.
I’m glad I’m not the only one here with a beef about the study.