Maxim, October, 2009
FIND OUT HOW TO SCORE WITH THE STAR OF YOUR BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNERTIME FANTASIES.
By Anna David

Never have I been as sought-after by men as when I was a cocktail waitress in San Francisco in my early twenties. Hoisting that tray above my head and sauntering through the bar-restaurant that had the misfortune to employ me (I’d often sneak shots of Jagermeister and spill hot coffee in laps, usually in that order), I felt like the belle of a ball that had been created for me and my tray-wielding sisters.

“No question, men love waitresses,” confirms Katie, a 28-year-old fashion designer who spends three nights a week cocktailing at one of Manhattan’s chicest bottle-service lounges. “I think they categorize us as somewhere between models and strippers.” What is it about picking up that notepad that drives men especially wild? Relationship expert and How to Win at Love author Dr. Gilda Carle, Ph.D., thinks the appeal boils down to the fact that a waitress is there to serve. “A man subconsciously believes that a woman who’s able to give her all in a service position will transfer her nurturing skills to him,” she says. And it doesn’t hurt that restaurant employees are famous partiers. Knowing that your serve is going to want to unwind for a couple of hours after she gets off work at midnight definitely ups her appeal.

The chasm between appreciating your waitress and getting her number, however, is enormous. Waitresses, bartenders, and baristas have already heard ever line you could possibly throw at them. Does that mean they’re untouchable? Not exactly. But to consummate that crush is gonna take serious balls, subtle skills, and advice straight from the source.

She’s Onto You
First things first: This is an uphill battle. Any girl working in a service industry knows that you’re eager to hit on her just because of her job, so she’s primed not to take your come-ons seriously. Sari, 27, who manned a mobile coffee bar outside her college library, still marvels at the way men would unabashedly flirt while she was serving them but ignore her at the study tables after her shift. “I think there’s an accessibility factor,” she says. “It’s easier for guys to make small talk during the transaction of ordering and paying. But if you won’t even look at me outside of my job, I’m not going to perceive your interest as genuine.”

Sam, 28, who was a hostess at a ritzy Manhattan restaurant for six months, agrees that a healthy dose of suspicion comes with the job. “They’re trying to get something from us – a good table, in my case – so it’s easy to read their compliments as empty flattery.”

So how can you avoid having her automatically dismiss your affections? Don’t display them. Says Kristin, a 29-year-old waitress in Atlanta, “It’s a relief not to have to deal with cheesy lines or a pair of eyes on your ass as you’re walking away.”